Interesting day at work

Yesterday I had a pretty interesting day at work. In order for me to go to the temple dedication on Sunday, I had to swap shifts with someone, and finally I found a person who was willing. So I traded what's usually a really calm Sunday shift where we usually watch a movie and the guys all go to bed for a shift with the same guys (who are habitual liars and explode at you when you're not stupid enough to believe their lies) who frankly are kind of difficult to handle while they're awake.

I was kinda stressed because

1. Wednesdays are my only day off during the week

2. On my day off, I didn't want to be working with them

3. Whenever they freak out, I never know how to take control of the situation

So Mom and Matt were sweet enough to put up with my griping and offer me some advice, which completely took my stress away and replaced it with confidence that I could pretty easily handle these guys. It worked, but with a price.

One of the kids has some bad habits so whenever I catch him doing something he shouldn't be, I'm always sure to let him know I'm watching.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"..."

"Look, just stop, I know exactly what you're up to"

"You DON'T know! Frickin' liar..."

"All right, then explain it to me, because I'm apparently seeing something totally different"

"YOU'RE A FRICKIN' LIAR!! I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING!! S.O.B, (about 20 other expletives)"

Then he stomped off to his room where I stood in his doorway and watched him further.

"Hey man, you're going to have to stop doing that before I'll leave"

"I'm not doing it anymore"

"Yeah, I can pretty much see that you are"

"GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Absolutely, once you stop"

so he did until I left the room, then I came back and he was doing it again

"Why are you doing that man? If you want me to leave, then just go to bed like you promised"

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM I YOU!! STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO YOU CAN'T CONTROL ME!!"

"That's true, but I'm also supposed to make sure you don't do anything you're not supposed to be doing"

"GET OUT RIGHT NOW! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD OUT OF YOUR FILTHY ******** MOUTH! GET OUT! I DON'T WANNA SEE YOU, HEAR YOU JUST GET OUT!"

"You know the deal"

"GET OOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTT!"

So I pull out my phone and just start texting standing in his doorway until he's done freaking out. There's about a forty-second pause, and then he starts doing the toenail thing.

"Stop it, man"

But this time, rather than scream or yell, he picks up a steel-toed boot and starts coming at me. I thought he was going to throw it, so I backed out of the doorway out of sight, then I see that he's coming at me and he just plans to hit me with it. That was a REALLY stupid plan, because as soon as I noticed he didn't plan to use distance as an advantage I just rushed him, got down low like I was about to tackle, but didn't follow through. I got my arms around and him and threw him off balance a little (because if you're too rough you can get fired/sued/arrested etc. so I wanted to play it safe) and I just held him there.

Unluckily for me, he bit down on my left forearm and just held it for like three minutes, the entire time I'm trying to get my arm free without losing a big chunk of meat and trying to console the younger kid who's bawling like a baby but refuses to go back in his room like I say.

I know it doesn't look too bad, but that's a human bite mark and it's still all puffy

Finally, with my right arm still pressing his arms to his side, I hook my finger on the inside of his cheek and just rip as hard as I can, which gets his mouth off me so I can get a better grip on him. The entire ordeal holds off for another seven minutes probably until he finally calms down enough that I can believe him when he says he's going back in his room.

How many of YOU can say you've been bitten by a group-home resident at work?